If you don’t come back

This is me trying to create a list of how it would be if you didn’t come back. Or how everything has been since you’ve been gone. It would be a sort of abstract of everything I have become, because it’s hard to define my personality without mentioning your absence. Want an advice? Don’t love. And you’ll only have love inside of you. Don’t begin. And you’ll never have to accept an ending. Because the end equates to fear. Fear of the uncontrollable and of the inevitable. Fear of you. And being afraid that, without you, everything would be like…

The rain would cease being serene and neat. It would lose the capacity to purify everything it touches.

There would be no life anymore. I wouldn’t know what to do.

My only companions would be the stars, which would bring short and rude news of how you’ve been.

The fields would lose the green. The strawberries would become bitter. The falls wouldn’t noise. The rivers wouldn’t wet me anymore. The flowers would lose their aroma.

I would become so big inside and so small outside that my body wouldn’t be able to walk anymore due to the weight of your absence.

The violins would only play funeral marches until my time would come.

My love for humanity and for my country wouldn’t mean anything else.

I would be made of nothing.

The nights of Insomnia would be forever cold and eternal.

The sea would be dry.

My memories of you would eventually eat me alive.

The world would become a huge desert.

And I’d never again smell your infinite scent.

Si no vuelves, no habrá vida
No sé lo que haré
No sé lo que haré…


Clarice Lispector: “Don’t listen to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony and it shall never end for you.”

Fabrício Bernardes

Gypsy Heart

Y va liviano
Mi corazón gitano
Que sólo entiende de latir
A contramano

Have you ever felt like you had a gypsy heart? Is there a right time to start liking or disliking someone?

Gypsies are just a people who came from northern India and spread around Europe. But why a gypsy heart? Simply because the heart is gypsy, it is nomad. It cannot hold to someone forever. Yes, that is the way we are. We are born having to learn that love does not last forever. However, why do we not ever learn? It is so good to start loving someone, in the beggining, everybody is flawless. It is so good to deceive yourself by thinking this person will never hurt you. The beggining of everything is so joyful.

I believe it is a human condition. We all know that, no matter how hard we try, we will hurt someone one day. And why, even knowing that we will make someone suffer, do not we prevent ourselves and do not commit the same mistake again? You may say, because it is a very-easy-to-be-made mistake. Whether is it easy? What is easy? If you make a mistake in doing job, you might get fired at the same time. Because of a simple mistake. What about those who hurt people everyday? Should they be fired from life?

Think about that before making the same mistake again. Pourquoi pas? Why not?

Fabrício Bernardes